Losses All Around

Bizarre dreams this morning.  My daughter and her fiance were leaving for home, which is far, far away, and I probably will not see her again for nine or ten months.


So why were my dreams about my job?  Because they are both great losses that I am experiencing, and yes, maybe with my daughter still sleeping under my roof it was easier for my brain to handle my job losses.


And they are not losses as in losing my job, although with my increasing unhappiness and management's megalomania, it could happen, too.  These losses are for a job I once loved despite poor pay and weekend hours and painful injuries that I am still trying to cope with.


I dreamed about a library-like place, where I couldn't find a person's books, staring at the computer and wanting it to work right, while someone else came along and got on the computer, threatening to lose the data that I had pulled up.  And I had been working by myself, and not known where the person who was supposed to be working with me had gone, while other people lined up looking patiently disgruntled.  And then, when everyone had gone, I tried to find my co-worker, but returned to find someone I didn't know sitting at my desk, who claimed to work reference, but couldn't say it convincingly.


And then at the end, there was the manager/cheerleader of the branch, directing a strange new program where at the end of the shift, we were all to fill up one row of some food/nourishment stuff, systematically, for the people to come after us.  And I was so lost, and so behind, that I never got to eat the food stuff, which whole thing seemed like nonsense and a waste of time anyway.


And then I woke up, and had to say good-bye to my daughter.


So the question became, where do I blog about this?  Does it go more appropriately in my personal blog, or my work blog? They are heartbreaking losses each in their own way.  But the loss I am experiencing at the library, where anyone who speaks up gets squashed by the director, the board, and the sycophants reflects the loss of a quality of life.  While we are celebrating all the good that the internet has brought, we are burning our books, or, in our case, "recycling" them.


Each time my daughter leaves I deal with the loss of her in my life, and it's the way it should be.


But the loss of our libraries, under the delusion of moving forward, is the one that I believe will haunt me for the rest of my life.

Dashed

So once again I went out on that limb and tried to call attention to things that are terribly wrong at work.  This time I insisted on doing it anonymously, and I'm glad I did.


The response I got was the party line.  All the things that are going on are for the good, and done with everyone's knowledge.  And if I have any complaints, I should go to my supervisor.  Who will then tell me the same thing, but maybe not as nicely.  And then will supervise my next evaluation.


So, in conclusion, let me once again say how much I admire the whistle-blowers.  Not the cowardly sneaky thing I just did, but people who go forward publicly, and face damnation from the public and those in charge.  The reason stupid and bad things happen is not so much that people don't talk, but that people don't listen.

The Sound of His Own Voice

The Mad Director has taken full control, and I can't even begin to keep on top of the weirdness that is going on here.

There is the insanity of taking a place which budget is on thin ice and eliminating overdue fines from children's books (isn't that sweet; almost as though he is doing something nice for the children by not having the parents be as responsible for their borrowing as they would for adult materials).  The first result of that decision was to order the staff to harass the other borrowers whenever they had any fine at all on their record, and not just collect fines upon the three-year renewal of their account.  The second result is the need to now increase fines on adult materials.

I am watching this impulsive, power-driven personality make decisions that are destructive and wondering how far it will go.

What blows me away is the disinformation that he passes for fact:

•  99 % of staff evaluations were "good and honest".  (What on earth does that mean, and how on earth would you know?)
• "Staff" really liked the customer service training presented on Staff Day.  I wonder how that information was garnered; apparently, I missed the anonymous feedback forms that must have been collected from staff.
• Circulation is up because of the "floating collection".  Actually, circulation is up because patrons can now check out hundreds of DVD's at a time instead of the prior limit of five.

This is a dude who is such a narcissist that reality is totally in his head.  I have heard that he is one not to be disagreed with.  I have an internal conflict with wanting to stay under his radar versus speaking my mind in order to do the right thing. This is not good.

I am not under the radar.

So we'll see what happens.  I know that, like Santa (the Bad Santa variety), he listens in to see whose naughty or nice.  He has let us all know that he has access to our library borrowing records, our internet communications, and the Staff Forum he initiated.

As narcissists do, he has also made himself very public.  I look forward to going to Board meetings, and I promise to read the minutes of all the staff meetings that get sent along to us mice, as disturbing as they are.

This is a small place, but it is turning out to be a real microcosm of what can go wrong when the wrong person is in control.

The Bizarre World of Bureaucracy

It's Monday morning, the busiest time of the busiest day of the week.  Our new boss has decided to invite our tech person to come to our building to give staff training in -- wait for it -- smart phones and iPads.  Now, not only is it pretty irrelevant to what we do, although they try to justify this training by saying it will help us help patrons, this enforced training is insulting in that at my salary I will never in my wildest dreams be able to afford either of these gadgets.  But I decided to keep my mouth shut.


I really don't want to offend my new boss.


But when he asked afterwards if we thought we were going to go out and get a new smart phone, how could I not say that at my salary I was going to run right out to get one.  Meanwhile, I spent the morning worrying about the car trouble that was being investigated by the mechanic across the street.


Sometime on my day off last week, the wallpaper was scraped off the wall in the kitchen.  Even I was amazed at this project, as things are in such disrepair at the branch that rewallpapering the kitchen could not possibly have been on anybody's to-do list.  Turns out that health inspectors were in, and noticed some peeling wallpaper, and something that could possibly have been mold underneath it, which could possibly have created a health risk.


Unlike the large plastic floor tiles in our tiny workroom that we periodically trip over, and which are decidedly a health risk.


I believe our health inspectors have it out for myself and my fellow workers.  A couple of years ago, they ordered the stovetop in our kitchen removed, as it posed a fire risk.  Although, come to think of it, in the thirty-some years of the building's existence -- not one fire caused by our stove-top.


Maybe next time they're in, they'll trip over the loose tiles and order them removed.  Or maybe not.

Dumb as Spit

I put my foot in it at work again yesterday.  I just can't make myself smile and say, "Yes it is wonderful how busy we are here at the library."  I am so damned thankful I have a job, it doesn't matter how little they pay us and how hard we have to work so idiots like you can come in and tell me how lucky I am to be waiting on you.

Sorry, I got carried away again.

I am usually pretty guarded about my views with the customers at this point.  I know enough to make absolutely sure who I am talking to before I let anybody know what I actually think; doesn't matter how much our patrons appear to want to engage in dialogue, 99.9 percent really just want to hear their own opinions agreed to, with a smile.

But this time I got suckered in.  There I was, doing work during my desk time because there wasn't nobody there to do it in the work room, like we're supposed to do, in order, of course, to give good customer service while we're on the desk.  It was a huge cart full of books to be sent to the holds shelf, and the smiling woman commented on all those holds, and that must be all we do.  Wow, she understands how much work is involved to get these holds out to people.  So I agreed.  Then she threw down the gauntlet:  "It's a good thing that you're so busy."

Man, what a sucker.  Those are the words that signify, time to tuck yourself into your shell.  But I didn't.  Instead, I said something to the effect that of course we're busy, what we have here is free.

Yeah I know, there are lots of better ways I could have even said that, and usually I do, but everyone is allowed their moment of less-than-eloquence.  Unless you work with the public, and especially if it's a government job in 2011.

So this woman who pays $35 a year for the dozen or so items she is checking out proceeds to tell me that if we were not pleasant, people would not use the library.  Right.

Oops.

Even at that point I could have backtracked and said, "You're right, that's why we try so hard."  And I have done that, I am ashamed to say.  But I did not.

Instead I asked her if she had summer reading forms, and fake-pleasantly added a couple more fake-important pieces of information.

And I smiled.

Happy Easter, Sears Employees

A fews days ago, with list in hand, I attempted to do my bi-annual (or tri-annual) clothes shopping.  I would have put it off another year, but some articles of clothing probably would not have made it another year.


I went to the Mall, to Sears, because the last time I bought shorts, maybe six years or so ago, they had shorts, in my size, and reasonably priced.  And unmentionables.


As I walked in, I was astonished to see a sign indicating that Sears was going to be open on Easter Sunday.  I nearly turned around and left at that point, but I am glad I did not.   l learned that:


On the Tuesday afternoon before Easter, Sears was the place to go if you needed peace and quiet. Customers were scarce, and so were employees.


There are no shorts for sale at Sears.  And there is no longer underwear at Sears in large sizes.  In Charleston, that means they are missing out on a very large demographic, no pun intended.


And there were absolutely no salespeople in sight on my first go-round, and on the second disbelieving go-round, the salesperson who looked like she was either taking inventory or trying to hide behind the rack of clothes, had no idea if they had shorts or large sizes.


So now I'm thinking, if Sears is a ghost town on a Tuesday, and they obviously don't spend a whole lot on employing "customer service" personnel during the week before the big dress-up holiday, why on earth would they want to be open on Easter Sunday?  Must be for those last minute going-to-church clothing emergencies?  Or maybe a lot of grills fail on Easter Sunday?


I am not a religious person, but I am a family person. It is outrageous that Sears or any big corporation would require employees to work on an important family holiday.  And if they think they are doing it for profit, the CEO ought to take a walk around the store during the week -- in fact, he could take a riding mower around the store with no fear of injuring a customer, or even finding one.


So, shame on you, Sears, and Happy Easter.

Are You Feeling Safer Now?

I noticed yesterday that the printout of the water analysis of my pool had the name of the young woman who helped me -- first and last name -- at the bottom.  This is a tiny shop that probably only has two employees serving customers.


And you can rest easy now, because your local library, which has long required it's employees to wear name tags, is now requiring them to wear photo name tags.  Doesn't appear to cost much, it looks like it was done in house (on the other hand, this means there are people that work up there in administration that actually have the time to take on this project).


No, this time it is not a "your tax dollars at work" issue. The issue is just how much do you need to know about me to feel safe having me check out your books?  Nikki Haley did not start the bandwagon, she merely jumped on it.  Basically, it goes, why don't employees at such-and-such have photo name tags?  That's it.


I'm thinking it must be that people are concerned that some shady character might slip into the library, steal my non-photo name tag, and pretend to be me when I'm not there.  And maybe recommend a book to you while they check you out.


It's not just a matter of how stupid are we, although that is a very large consideration.  It is a matter of how blindly are we willing to let ourselves be invaded?


Voter ID's, proof of US citizenship, a picture to go with your name because the fraud and criminality in this country would obviously be fixed if everybody was identified all the time.  Except it wouldn't.  All this obsession with ID's is a diversion from the corporate voter fraud and the criminal acts by Wall Street and BP and the lies by people like Jon Kyl (the "not intended to be a factual statement" Jon Kyl) that go on unstopped.


Look around.  How many of us are forced to walk around with  our names displayed on our chests for absolutely no good reason?  And how safe does it make an employee, knowing that any jackass can know your first and last name without your consent or even awareness.  Maybe no one will call the young lady at the pool store at home, but it's possible.  And why on earth do we all have to have that personal information?


I suppose when we have come to blindly accept the need for full body scans in order to get on a plane, and a search of our purses when we attend a concert, telling you who we are so you don't have to ask before you complain to management about our attitude is a small price to pay for security.